Drained
by wild moon child of the night
Summary: this was what I always feared would happen, why I dreaded turning her... What if, while trying to turn Bella, somthing terrible happened? Edward's POV I will post my disclaimer here: all characters belong to stephenie meyer, i do not own twilight.


Drained

Drained

A Twilight fanfic

It was what I had always feared would happen. The reason that I dreaded changing her. I could hear the shouts and thoughts of my family, begging me to stop. I screamed at myself to stop, while the rest of me screamed to continue drinking. I couldn't make myself stop drinking her sweet, warm, luscious blood. Finally, I wrenched my teeth from the soft flesh of her neck, but I knew, I knew in my heart that it was to late. I threw myself back into the waiting arms of Carlisle.

"Is she…?" I trailed off. I couldn't make myself say it. I couldn't think. I couldn't breath. Carlisle just looked at me sadly, while shaking his head.

"No…" I had known in my heart but I still couldn't, no, I didn't _**want**_ to believe it. "No…no, it isn't true! It can't be! Bella! No, please, Bella, No! Please! Bella, open your eyes! Bella please!" I had to have her in my arms. I needed to see those chocolate brown eyes. I needed to see her smile again. I wanted to see the faint blush on her cheeks. I yanked myself from Carlisle's arms, only to be held back by Emmett. "Edward, it's no use, I'm sorry, she's gone." I heard the sadness in Carlisle's voice, and heard Alice's sobs behind me. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. I managed to jerk myself free of Emmett's tight hold on my arms, and this time, they didn't stop me.

"BELLA!" i fell to my knees beside the couch she was laying on. I moved some hair from her eyes. Now was one of those times I wished I could cry.

"Bella…" I knew she was dead. The once sweet taste of her blood in my mouth had now gone sour as the guilt took over. Bella, My sweet, beautiful Bella, was gone, and it was my fault. "No!" I wanted to die. I _**needed**_ to die. '_Jacob…_' was the only thought on my mind. _'Jacob will…'_ I tried to run for the door but was stopped by Jasper and Emmett.

"Edward, you can't!" I heard Alice cry out.

"Please, no! Edward, I can't lose a son." I heard Esme sob.

"Edward, Don't." Jasper said hoarsely, as I continued to struggle. The pain, the pain of losing her was just too much.

"Jasper…I can't…please don't make me…" I was shaking hard, but I didn't know why. All I could think of was her, and the fact that her death was my fault. I realized a minute later that dry sobs tore through my body. My world was in a daze. Suddenly, I was set free. I ran as fast as I could to La Push. I slowed as I got there, and tried to compose myself. It didn't work. I knocked, and Jacob opened the door.

"What are you doing here bloodsucker? And where is Bella?" he hissed, and I winced.

"Jacob…" as I said the first word, my voice broke. "Jacob, I did it. I killed Bella." I could see him start to shake. I closed my eyes and waited for the blow. It came, I felt myself being slammed to the ground, and the pain from it felt good. I felt teeth sink into my arm, and just laid there, waiting for him to kill me.

"Why aren't you fighting back?!" He shouted in his head at me.

"Because I want to die, Jacob." I whispered. I couldn't talk at all now. I felt him phase back, and then a tear hit my face.

"Edward…" he said. I opened my eyes to look at his face.

"Just do it, Jacob. Please." He stared at me, and then shook his head and glared.

"No, I think I'll let you live. It will be a much better punishment." He snarled at me. He climbed up off my chest.

"Have a nice life Edward." He threw a look at me over his shoulder.

"Jacob, no, please!" Dieing was a necessity at this moment. I stood, and tried to follow, but he was already gone. I turned in the other direction, and ran. I didn't care where to, I didn't care who saw, I just ran. I wanted to forget everything. Suddenly I felt my foot catch something and I tumbled to the ground. i stayed laying on the ground, sobbign as the rain became my tears.


End file.
